In this power-packed episode, Jeff sits down with Sandee Sgarlata, a peak performance expert, life coach, and host of the Happiness Solved Podcast, to uncover the mindset, resilience, and AI strategies that help entrepreneurs thrive. From overcoming burnout and self-doubt to using AI without losing authenticity, Sandee shares game-changing insights for network marketers, affiliate marketers, and online business owners who want to scale with confidence, clarity, and happiness.
✅ Happiness is a Choice & a Practice: Why mindset mastery is the foundation of success.
✅ Overcoming Burnout & Self-Doubt: Practical strategies for building resilience & confidence in business.
✅ AI as Your Assistant, Not Your Replacement: How to use AI to enhance—not replace—your personal brand.
✅ Authenticity in the AI Era: Why trust & real human connection are more valuable than ever.
✅ High-Performance Habits: How top entrepreneurs stay focused, energized, and consistent without burnout.
💬 “Happiness is not a destination—it’s a choice and a daily practice, just like anything else.”
💬 “AI will never replace your authenticity. It’s a tool to amplify your voice, not become your voice.”
💬 “Mindset is 80% of success. The rest is just strategy and execution.”
🔹 [00:01] – Welcome to the show! Jeff sets the stage for an epic convo with Sandee.
🔹 [03:25] – The #1 reason why most entrepreneurs burn out—and how to fix it.
🔹 [06:31] – Why social media can be toxic (and how to use it with intention).
🔹 [09:02] – AI & personal branding: How to use ChatGPT the right way.
🔹 [15:06] – The secret to building a trustworthy online presence in a noisy world.
🔹 [22:45] – Sandee’s personal story of overcoming a mental health crisis and coming back stronger.
🔹 [34:42] – How to find your true purpose & mission in life and business.
🔹 [42:19] – AI tools for efficiency, engagement, and automation—without losing your voice.
🔹 [47:02] – Final words of wisdom: How to take action today to create a happier, more successful future.
🎙️ Sandee Sgarlata – Peak Performance Coach, Podcast Host, Life Coach
📖 The Happiness Solved Podcast – Listen to Sandee’s podcast for more mindset & success strategies
💡 Laptop Lifestyle Dads Academy – Learn AI-powered social selling & attraction marketing
🔥 Loved this episode? Don’t just listen—take action! Drop a 💡 in the comments if you got value & tag a mate who NEEDS to hear this.
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Stay caffeinated. Stay legendary. 🦘🔥
Jeff Ross (00:01) Well, good day legends and welcome back to another episode of the Laptop Lifestyle Dad Show. Hey, this one's proudly brought to you in partnership with the Los Angeles Tribune Podcast Network. Hey, my name's Jeff Ross. I'm your host. I'm a proud father of three energetic boys coming to you from the beautiful island of Tasmania, Australia. Hey, this is the show where we help frustrated network marketers, affiliate marketers and online entrepreneurs to master AI.
social selling and attraction marketing. So you can build a business that works for you instead of the other way around. Now let me ask you this, are you consistently feeling overwhelmed and burnt out trying to grow your business? Do you struggle with confidence, motivation and showing up consistently online? And what if I told you that AI isn't here to replace you, but it's here to help you become unstoppable
and unleash that creativity. If you're not in your head, you're in for a treat today. I'm absolutely stoked, yes, that's an Aussie term, to welcome Sandy Sacralata. Sandy is a peak performance expert, certified life coach, and managing director of the Los Angeles Tribune Podcast Network. She's a former US national figure skating coach and an award-winning author and host of the Happiness Solved Podcast.
Her mission, helping people unlock their mindset, resilience and confidence to create happiness driven success, whether in business, leadership or personal growth. And today Sandy is here to share how happiness and success are deeply connected in business. The mindset shifts that needed to overcome burnout and setbacks, how to build a personal brand to...
establish your influence in today's very noisy digital world and how AI is changing the way we show up online and how we use it to our advantage. So Sandy, welcome to the Laptop Lifestyle Dad Show. Jeff, thank you so much. It's such a pleasure. I don't think I knew you lived on Tasmania. Yeah, little island down near Antarctica, I think our neighbor is. And you know, I'm a huge tennis fan and right before the Australian Open,
Sandee Sgarlata (02:09)
Jeff, thank you so much. It's such a pleasure. And I don't think I knew you lived on Tasmania.
And you know, I'm a huge tennis fan. And right before the Australian Open, know, there's
always, before every Grand Slam, there's always tournaments that build up so that the players get used to the time change, the geographic conditions, the climate's different, you know, in Australia than it is, you know, you're in your summer there. And it's so funny because every year now, there's a tournament in Tasmania and they always laugh. They're like, people just...
Jeff Ross (02:25)
There's always before every Grand Slam there's...
Get used to the time change the geographic conditions climates different, you know, yeah You know, you're in your summer there and it's so funny because every year now there's a there's a tournament in Tasmania and they always laugh They're like people
just know the Tasmanian devil like the cartoons that I grew up watching didn't know it was a real place Yeah, it's um
Sandee Sgarlata (02:46)
know the Tasmanian devil like the cartoons that I grew up watching, didn't know it was a real place. And wow, people actually live
there.
Jeff Ross (02:55)
It's a little island that normally gets forgotten off the map. And we're okay with that because we're one of the world's best kept secrets. I'm sure you are. But all right, legends, before we jump into today's conversation, I just want to talk about something that's going to help a lot of network and affiliate marketers and social sellers to scale their business faster than ever. It's the Laptop Lifestyle Dad's Academy. It's our go-to system to help you to master social selling and AI automation.
Sandee Sgarlata (03:02)
I'm sure you are.
Jeff Ross (03:25)
building influence and authority through attraction marketing and creating duplication and team without burnout. Hey, we don't just teach you how to grow your network marketing business. We give you the exact roadmap and tools to help you to make it happen. Want in? Just come and have a chat with us and we'll explore to see if it's a good fit for you. The link for you to go and check it out for yourself will be in the show notes below. And we look forward to connecting and getting to know you better.
And part of what we're doing is building community where people feel seen, heard, valued and love. All right, let's get back into today's episode with Sandy. So Sandy, as a peak performance expert and host of the Happiness Solved podcast, you talk a lot about how happiness is not a destination, but it's choice. I've got my own stories. I can definitely connect to that, but I love that how you say, you know, it's a choice. So in a fast paced world,
in a very noisy space online, how can entrepreneurs intentionally cultivate happiness while still growing their success?
Sandee Sgarlata (04:33)
That's a really, really great question, Jeff. And here's the thing that is so, so critical because you need to have an online presence. And I struggle with this maybe more than most because
I find social media, if you stay on it too long, it largely is not a good place for anyone to be. Because if you understand the way our brains work,
Jeff Ross (04:49)
find social media if you stay on it too long.
for anyone to be hmm because if you understand the way our brains
work and Our brains are naturally wired to always default toward The ego is going to try to protect you so when you see somebody who's you're perceived and I'm using Intentionally saying perceived right because when we're looking at other people other influence out there or other people that are doing what you're doing You're perceiving them in a whatever way
Sandee Sgarlata (05:02)
and our brains are naturally wired to always default toward the ego is going to try to protect you. So when you see somebody who's you're perceived, and I'm using intentionally saying perceived, right? Because when we're looking at other people, other influence out there, or other people that are doing what you're doing, you're perceiving them in a whatever way.
Jeff Ross (05:25)
Yeah. Oh, well, they've got this or they this many followers in this and our brains will naturally default.
Sandee Sgarlata (05:25)
well, they've got this or they have this many followers in this. And our brains will naturally default
wow, what am I doing wrong? Why am I not there? Right? Your brain is always going to go to that place. And so you have to be very, very careful and make sure that you're doing things with intention on social media. Whether it be, you know, because you want to support people and that's one of my goals for 2025 is getting out there and supporting people. And
Jeff Ross (05:33)
Wow, what am I doing wrong? Right. Your brain is always going to go to that place. And so you have to be very, very careful and make sure that you're you're doing things with intention on social media, whether it be, you know, because you want to support people. And I and I that's one of my goals for 2025 is getting out there and supporting people.
Sandee Sgarlata (05:53)
I need to do it more intentionally because I can't rely on the algorithm to show me their feed. So what my game plan is, is to
Jeff Ross (05:54)
and I need to do it more intentionally because I can't rely on the algorithm to show me their feed. what my game plan is, is to
Sandee Sgarlata (06:03)
have a list of people that I want to support. And they don't just have to be, they can have larger following or smaller following, but you actually want to go after the larger following people if you want to grow online and you want to just go to their page, don't scroll, go specifically to their page, find their most recent post and like and comment on it and
Jeff Ross (06:03)
have a list of people that I want to support. And they don't just have to be, they can have larger following or smaller following, but you actually want to go after the larger following people if you want to grow online and you want to just go to their page. Don't scroll, go specifically to the page, find their most recent post and like and comment on it.
Sandee Sgarlata (06:23)
get that engagement that way because then their audience is going to see it. But you want to avoid scrolling.
Jeff Ross (06:23)
and get that engagement that way because then their audience is gonna see it. But you wanna avoid scrolling.
Sandee Sgarlata (06:31)
and be very intentional because when you scroll, mean, you I've been doing this, Jeff, for 35 years. 35 years I've been on this journey of my quest for practicing happiness. Yes, it's a choice and it's a practice, just like anything else. I'm also a tennis player and I had tennis practice this morning and I played for an hour and a half,
Jeff Ross (06:31)
It'd be very intentional because when you scroll, don't know, I mean, you I've been doing this, Jeff, for 35 years. 35 years I've been on this journey of my quest for practicing happiness. Yes, it's a and it's a practice, just like anything else. I'm also a tennis player and I had tennis practice this morning and I played for an hour and a half.
Sandee Sgarlata (06:52)
you know? And I know that I'm practicing again tomorrow morning because I have a match on Saturday that I want to do well and I have to practice. Well, look.
I also want to be happy and you got to practice happiness every minute of every day. Every opportunity we have an hour. We have a chance to practice it. so that's the big thing is if you're trying to grow online, you just want to be very, very, very intentional about it and avoid that scrolling and scrolling. Yeah.
Jeff Ross (07:03)
Yeah, I love that yeah,
yeah and
Yeah, I love the intentionality of what you just described. And that's, that's why I can describe it, right? It's it's love on purpose. It's love on purpose. Love on purpose. In business, 80 % of your success is mindset. 20 % is the tactics. 20 % is your continuing education, all the emails you're following up on the strategies you're selling. Everything else is mindset because you've got the mindset.
Sandee Sgarlata (07:30)
It's love on purpose, because here's the thing, Jeff. In business, 80 % of your success is mindset. 20 % is the tactic. So 20 % is your continuing education, all the emails you're following up on, the strategies you're selling. Everything else is mindset, because if you've got the mindset, the
selling is going to be easy peasy, that everything else is just going to flow. But you've got to take care of the space between your ears first.
Jeff Ross (07:50)
the selling is gonna be easy peasy. Everything else is just gonna flow, but you've gotta take care of the space between your ears first.
Yes, yes, very powerful. And in this AI space, that is a great reminder. The best tool is right here between your ears. And AI, when you were talking about, when you were doing your promos, I was taking notes because I wanted to make sure that I talked about these things. And AI is phenomenal and I love it and I rely
Sandee Sgarlata (07:59)
You
Yeah. And AI, and when you were talking about, you know, when you were doing your promos, I was taking notes because I wanted to make sure that I talked about these things. And AI is phenomenal and I love it and I rely on it because
I look at, I use chat GPT and I've been priming my GPT prompts and I've been working on this for about eight months. And so it knows me intimately, but here's the thing. Here's the thing.
Jeff Ross (08:20)
because I look at, I use chat GPT and I've been priming my GPT prompts. I've been working on this for about eight months. And so it knows me. Yeah, intimate, right? Intimately. Here's the thing, here's the thing.
Sandee Sgarlata (08:35)
AI is never going to replace Sandy Scarlatta's authenticity. It's never gonna do it. And so while I look at my chat GPT as my assistant, I'm like, what would I say to my assistant? I'd be like, hey, can you draft an email to this
Jeff Ross (08:35)
AI is never going to replace Sandy Scarlatta's authenticity. It's never gonna do it. And so while I look at my chat GPT as my assistant, I'm like, what would I say to my assistant? I'd be like, hey, can you draft an email?
Sandee Sgarlata (08:50)
person? And I give it all the information. I want it to be like this, do it like this, blah, blah. And I give it the information, boom, there's my email. Do I just send it as is? Absolutely not. I have to go and I have to make it my own.
Jeff Ross (08:50)
to this person and I give it all the information. I want it to be like this, do it like this, blah, blah, blah. And I give it the information, boom, there's my email. Do I just send it as is? Absolutely not. I have to go and I have to make it my
own because if I had a human assistant that was drafting an email for me, that's what you're going to do. And you're going to go back and make it my own. And so I think it's really incredible, but people just have to be really, really careful of it. You cannot lose your office. I love how...
Sandee Sgarlata (09:02)
Because if I had a human assistant that was drafting an email for me, that's what you're going to do. And you're going to go back and make it my own. And so I think it's really incredible, but people just have to be really, really careful about you cannot lose your authenticity throughout this.
Jeff Ross (09:18)
I had an interview with Manu Jagarwal and what he said about... love the statement he said, AI is like a Ferrari. You know, it's a powerful tool. It's a powerful machine, but there are a lot of kindergarten kids driving Ferraris. That's right. Yeah. And best way I can, yeah, best metaphor I can think of to describe the power of it. But I want to come back to mindset. And I also loved the, you know, reference that has heart set, you know, operating out of our heart.
Sandee Sgarlata (09:21)
I love Manouche.
That's right.
That's right. That's right.
That's right. Yeah.
Jeff Ross (09:48)
and
creating purpose-driven lives and mission-centered, you know, personal brands rather than transactional businesses. Well, don't get me wrong, we all, in business. We need to, you know, money's like oxygen, but I find it's a different conversation. It's a different energy. It's a different way you show up when it's about the mission. It's not about the sale. And where I'm leading here too is in a world that is very noisy online.
Sandee Sgarlata (10:11)
Exactly.
Jeff Ross (10:17)
because it is, it's gotten noisier and noisier, especially with AI. I feel like trust is at an all time low. Everybody's a bit skeptical now, is this AI? Is this a real human behind it? Where's the heart that's disappeared? In a world that's starving for connection and starving for love and starving for trust, what are some of your go-to tips here to communicate effectively in a way
Sandee Sgarlata (10:18)
Mm-hmm.
Jeff Ross (10:47)
that helps people to feel seen, heard, valued, ultimately loved.
Sandee Sgarlata (10:55)
Yeah, you're calling it heart centered. I call it consciousness. And so part of what I do in the corporate space is I work on conscious leadership and I train leaders to come from a place of pure consciousness. And so what that means is everything is a frequency. so your frequency, so here's the thing. We live in a world of light and darkness. There's a polarity in everything that we do.
Jeff Ross (10:56)
Yeah, you you're calling it heart centered. call it consciousness. So part of what I do in the corporate space is I work on conscious leadership and I train leaders to come from a place of pure consciousness. And so what that means is everything is a frequency. And so your frequency. So here's the thing. We live in a world of light and darkness, you know, everything is a polarity in everything that we
do.
Sandee Sgarlata (11:23)
And so you cannot be grateful and frustrated or angry at the same time. They cannot coexist. So what needs to happen is every time you're doing anything, whether you're making a post, you're sending an email, you're having a call with a potential customer or whatever, anything that you're doing, you want to make sure that your frequency is at the highest level. And if you're feeling any sort of angst in your heart, that's when you know
Jeff Ross (11:23)
And so you cannot be grateful and frustrated or angry at the same time. They cannot coexist. So what needs to happen is every time you're doing anything, whether you're making a post, you're sending an email, you're having a call with a potential customer or whatever, anything that you're doing, you want to make sure that your frequency is at the highest level. And if you're feeling any sort of angst in your heart, that's when you
know,
Sandee Sgarlata (11:52)
You
want the quickest way to do it is just focus on gratitude, do some deep breathing, focus on everything you have to be grateful for. And what that's going to do is raise your frequency to a high level so that you can trust yourself. And to get back to where you're saying, you said there's a low level of trust. You have to, when you're in that high level of frequency, the people who are doing everything by AI, you're going to know it. Your spidey senses are going to go up like nobody's business. And it's like,
Jeff Ross (11:52)
You want the quickest way to do it is just focus on gratitude do some deep breathing focus on everything you have to be grateful for and what that's going to do is raise your frequency to a high level so that you can trust yourself To get back to where you're saying you said there's a low level of trust You have to when you're in that high level of frequency the people who are doing everything by AI you're gonna know it Your spidey senses are gonna go up like nobody's business and it's
like, okay
Sandee Sgarlata (12:21)
Okay,
I'm gonna swear. My bullshit meter, the bullshit meter is gonna go off. And you're like, I just had a call. I had a couple of calls with somebody and they're trying to sell me a big ticket course. And everything was good until she, I don't believe what she said. And I knew it was bullshit. And that red flag went off and she told me, well,
Jeff Ross (12:23)
I'm gonna swear my book my bullshit meter the bullshit meter is gonna go off. Mm-hmm. You're like, I just had a call I had a couple of calls with somebody they're trying to sell me a big big ticket course and she and she everything was good until she's she she I don't believe what she said and I knew it was bullshit and I and that that red flag went off and she told me
well
Sandee Sgarlata (12:49)
I
did the same thing and I made $185,000 in 90 days and I'm sitting there going, then why are you working for somebody else? If you made that kind of money, you wouldn't be selling somebody else's course to me. You'd be out there doing it yourself. Okay. So there's, you just have to be in tune and trust your gut because that told me right there, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, And see that was all of it. She turned a great conversation into made it about money.
Jeff Ross (12:49)
I did the same thing and I made $185,000 in 90 days and I'm sitting there going, then why are you working for somebody else? If you made that kind of money, you wouldn't be selling somebody else's course to me. You'd be out there doing it yourself. Spot on. just have to be in tune and trust your gut because that told me right there, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah. And see, that was all of, she turned a great conversation into, made it about money.
Sandee Sgarlata (13:19)
and she was trying to convince me and that's where she lost me right there. And I'm like, and she knew it. She knew she lost me. Cause I'm like, you're full of it. And I know because I can trust my gut because I went into that call from a higher level of frequency and you can't BS me when I'm in that state of mind.
Jeff Ross (13:19)
She was trying to convince me and that's where she lost me right there and I'm like and she knew it she knew she lost me because I'm like you're full of it and and I know because I can trust my gut because I went into that call from a higher level of frequency and you can't BS me yeah powerful state of
mind powerful and so so what you're talking about here is I like to reference it as the law of vibration you know like attracts like
Sandee Sgarlata (13:44)
Absolutely, call it what you like.
Jeff Ross (13:46)
Like attracts like,
Sandee Sgarlata (13:47)
Yep.
Jeff Ross (13:47)
know, repels negative stuff and you come from that safe centered space. Like it's a safe space to operate when you get, when you understand this and you go into that space. And I can't, nobody's going to get there. They're not going to fool me. They're not going to fool me because I've been fooled so many times because I am, I'm a natural blonde. I give blondes a bad name, but I'm smart as can be and you can't fool me. Now when you say dad jokes,
Sandee Sgarlata (13:50)
That's right.
And nobody's gonna get their, they're not gonna fool me. They're not gonna fool me because I've been fooled so many times because I am, I'm a natural blonde. I give blondes a bad name, but I'm smart as can be and you can't fool me. Now when you say dad jokes,
it may go over my head and it take me 15 minutes and I'll sit and I'll think about it be like, my God, that's so funny, right?
Jeff Ross (14:23)
Yeah, just takes
it sometimes it tastes like I'm dyslexic so and I'll go to ADHD so sometimes I Process things out loud and sometimes it takes me a little while to process and then it's like yep And then everybody else has moved on but I've come back to it. I get that
Sandee Sgarlata (14:29)
I am too, same, same.
Yep.
So yeah, so having your frequency, and I think that that's probably one of your best ways to really navigate this new world with AI is, again, I'm going to bring it back to that. AI is never going to replace the human create. mean, they may get creative, but the authenticity and the real feeling, where people are worried about, you know, somebody coming and showing up as me and doing my thing. And I'm like,
Jeff Ross (14:45)
Yeah.
Sandee Sgarlata (15:06)
But they're not going to be me. You can't replicate that. You can't replicate it.
Jeff Ross (15:10)
No, you can't. you're right. The more you get into this world, I think the stronger your BS filter really does become in that space, because you can see the red flags right away. And, what, like what's coming up for me here is, is AI is a, it's a very powerful tool, but it's an amplifier and it basically amplified the heart, right? The intention behind your agenda, what you're trying to do, what you're trying to achieve.
Sandee Sgarlata (15:17)
Yeah.
You can. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Jeff Ross (15:39)
all of that. if you're looking at to, you know, be great, a force for the greater good, it'll amplify that. But if you've also got, you know, it's all about me, myself, and I sort of attitude, well, it's going to amplify that too. And it really is an input output tool. But I want to come back to mindset before we really dive into the AI technical conversation. What's the one thing that helps you? Okay, so like all entrepreneurs, especially,
Sandee Sgarlata (15:52)
Yeah, for sure.
Jeff Ross (16:09)
You know, it's a rollercoaster ride. It's like, again, it's life, it's amplified. And we have our ups and downs. not for the fainted heart. No, definitely not. We have our ups and downs, we have our twists and turns, we have times where we're really, really high and we're crushing it. And I know there's quite a few times that, you know, you're doubting yourself, imposter syndrome kicks in and you're thinking to yourself, like, what's the point of all this? How do you help people get that
Sandee Sgarlata (16:17)
It's not for the fainted heart.
Jeff Ross (16:39)
tough rhino skin and you know what are some things they need to help them to build their resilience? I suppose what are the top mind shifts people need to make when facing challenges setbacks or failures in their business in life? That's an excellent question Jeff and for me you know as a peak performance expert I'm such a high performer okay and with that comes a lot of challenges and and I recently went
Sandee Sgarlata (16:54)
That's excellent question, Jeff. And for me, as a peak performance expert, I'm such a high performer, okay? And with that comes a lot of challenges. And I recently went through
some very difficult challenges last fall. I had a couple of things go south, big learning lessons in business, right? Not everything.
Jeff Ross (17:09)
some very difficult challenges. Last fall, had a couple of things go south. Big learning lessons in business, right? Not everything
Sandee Sgarlata (17:23)
goes the way we intended to go. And so a couple of big things hit me really, really hard. A lot of other life stuff going on. And it was really hard. I mean, I had more days where I couldn't get out of bed than days I got out of bed.
Jeff Ross (17:23)
goes the way we intended to go. And so a couple of big things hit me really, really hard. A lot of other life stuff going on. And it was really hard. I mean, I had more days where I couldn't get out of bed than days I got out.
Sandee Sgarlata (17:37)
And I've never experienced that because I've never experienced depression in my entire life ever. And there's such a stigma around it. And now I know why, because I had a call with a vendor.
Jeff Ross (17:37)
and I've never experienced that because I've never experienced depression in life. Ever. It's hard. And it's such, there's such a stigma around it. And, and now I know why, because I had a call with a vendor.
Sandee Sgarlata (17:49)
I took the month of December off and I was just telling people I'm having some health issues. We'll talk in January. Some people get a little nosier than others. Well, what? And I'm like, it's fine. I just have some health, because I didn't want to talk about it. wasn't ready. Because
Jeff Ross (17:50)
I took the month of December off and I was just telling people I'm having some, health issues. We'll talk in January. Some people get a little nosier than others. Well, what? Well, and I'm like, it's fine. I just have some health, cause I didn't want to talk about it. wasn't ready. You need to process it.
Sandee Sgarlata (18:05)
you got to process it. You got to get through it before you can be, because I was still in the middle of it. And when you're in the middle of something like that, you're attracting the wrong energy. So you have to get through it first so that you can speak on it.
Jeff Ross (18:06)
You gotta process it, you gotta get through it before you can be, because I was still in the middle of it. And when you're in the middle of something like that, you're attracting the wrong energy. So you have to get through it first so that you can speak on
it in a tone of neutrality and act from that, woe is me kind of thing. so, but I've been sharing this, I just shared it yesterday on my show, because I think it's important and it just describes the mindset of, especially in the United States and how we have such a mental health crisis here.
Sandee Sgarlata (18:17)
in a tone of neutrality and not from that woe is me kind of thing. And so, but I've been sharing this. I just shared it yesterday on my show because I think it's important and it just describes the mindset of especially in the United States and how we have such a mental health crisis here.
And I said to somebody and this was in the beginning of January and it's somebody that I'm working with. He's doing one of the components for my TV show that's gonna be launched in February.
Jeff Ross (18:35)
And I said to somebody, and this was in the beginning of January, and it's somebody that I'm working with, he's doing one of the components for my TV show that's gonna be launched in February.
And I told him what was wrong, what I'd been dealing with, and he looked at me and he goes, what do you have to be depressed about? He goes, you're not ugly.
Sandee Sgarlata (18:46)
And I told him what was wrong, know, what I'd been dealing with. And he looked at me and he goes, what would you have to be depressed about? He goes, you're not ugly.
And I just, how do you respond to that? And I'm like, okay. And that's exactly, and that's exactly because you know what, Jeff, when I was going through that, I was afraid to tell my husband. I didn't tell anybody. I kept it inside of me for a good month because I was ashamed. my gosh, how can you be depressed? You've got everything. I've got a successful podcast. Like my son just graduated from college. You know what I mean?
Jeff Ross (18:58)
And I just, how do you respond to that? And I'm like, okay. And that's exactly because you know what, Jeff? When I was going through that, I was afraid to tell my husband. I didn't tell anybody. I kept it inside of me for a good month because I was ashamed. my gosh, how can you be depressed? You've got everything. I've got a successful podcast. Like my son just graduated from college. You know what
I mean?
Sandee Sgarlata (19:27)
I have an amazing marriage, like everything. I'm on top of the world. And yet I felt like the loneliest person in the world. And I was depressed and I couldn't get out of bed. Yeah, lonely. And I listened to, I remember listening to a Justin Bieber song and I'm driving down there and I'm like, okay, I know I'm not like him, but I could relate. And he was just like, when you know, something like when you know what it's like to have everything in the world and have nobody to call, then you'll know, then you know who I am.
Jeff Ross (19:27)
I have an amazing marriage like everything I'm on top of the world. Hmm. And yet I felt like the loneliest person in the world. I was depressed. There's that word. Loneliest person in the world. Wow. listening to a Justin Bieber song and I'm driving down there and I'm like, okay, I know I'm not like him, but I could relate. And he was just like, when you know something like when you know what it's like to have everything in the world and have nobody to call, then you'll know, then you know who I
am.
Sandee Sgarlata (19:57)
And it was like, and that's exactly how I felt. I don't have all the money like Justin Bieber does, because I don't care about that. But I had everything else going for me. And I felt like the loneliest person in the world. And I had nobody to call. And I was too ashamed to even tell anybody. And I finally got through that. And now I can talk about it, because I've experienced it firsthand. So it's OK. We're going to have our ups and downs. It's OK to.
Jeff Ross (19:57)
And it was like, and that's exactly how I felt. I don't have all the money like Justin Bieber does, because I don't care about that. But I had everything else going for me and I felt like the loneliest person in the world and I had nobody to call. And I was too ashamed to even tell anybody. And I finally got through that. And now I can talk about it because I've experienced it firsthand. So it's okay. We're gonna have our ups and downs. It's okay
to...
Sandee Sgarlata (20:24)
feel
the feelings. It was okay. I took a month off. I just turned 59. I've never taken a month off in my life ever, ever. In America, we take a one week vacation, maybe two. That's it. We're not like the Europeans or people from other places in the world where they take a six month vacation, four weeks. No, no, no, no. I took a couple months off when my son was born, but I had just given birth to a baby.
Jeff Ross (20:25)
Yeah
Sandee Sgarlata (20:51)
So like that's
Jeff Ross (20:52)
Like that's not taking. So I was just, it was like sitting on my hands all day trying to be okay with taking a month off. And I needed that for the space between my ears. it was the best thing that ever happened for me to go through that. And so the thing is, is it's like, you gotta feel that, you gotta get through it. But then when you're on this other side,
Sandee Sgarlata (20:52)
not taking, so I, and I was just, it was like sitting on my hands all day trying to be okay with taking a month off. And I needed that for the space between my ears. And it was the best thing that ever happened for me to go through that. And so the thing is, is it's like, you gotta feel that, you gotta get through it. But then when you're on this other side,
You remember that and you focus on, look what I just got through. That happened for me, not to me. And it's a daily practice. It's a daily practice because when I have a day, you know, this past weekend, I had fun. I had fun all weekend and I didn't get any work done. Monday comes, I'm tired because I played all, I played so hard, didn't get a lot done. And Tuesday was the damage control day where I was like, it's okay.
Jeff Ross (21:18)
You remember that and you focus on wow look what I just got through that happened for me not to me. Yes And it's a daily practice. Yes practice because When I have a day, you know this past weekend I had fun I Had fun all weekend and I didn't get any work done Monday comes I'm tired. I played off I played so hard didn't get a lot done and Tuesday was the damage control day where I was like, it's okay
Sandee Sgarlata (21:47)
and I'm being very gentle with myself, very gentle like, it's okay. It's okay that you haven't worked since Friday, it's okay. But see, for me, you have to understand who you are and it's a strength, but it can also be a very big burden if I let it and I'm not going to let it get the best of me because that could send you back down and you gotta keep yourself elevated and...
Jeff Ross (21:48)
and I'm being very gentle with myself, very gentle, like, it's okay. It's okay that you haven't worked since Friday, it's okay. But see, for me, you have to understand who you are, and it's a strength, but it can also be a very big burden if I let it, and I'm not going to let it get the best of me. Because that could send you back down, and you gotta keep yourself elevated
and...
Sandee Sgarlata (22:15)
It's okay to take a break. It's okay to not work three weeks nonstop. It's okay.
Jeff Ross (22:16)
It's okay to take a break. It's okay to not work three weeks nonstop. It's
okay. Yeah. Life goes on, right? And thank you for sharing that story. Thank you for being like really raw and real with us here. Cause I think that's very valuable for our audience to get like it's life, right? And it's okay to fall over. It's okay to feel the way that you feel because- Jeff, let me just close it with this.
Sandee Sgarlata (22:26)
You're welcome.
life.
Well, Jeff, let me just close it with this,
because this is really important to emphasize, that I was at a point where if I didn't share it with somebody, and I went to my husband first because I was laying in bed, and he laid down next to me and he looked at me and he's like, what's going on?
Jeff Ross (22:45)
because this is really important to emphasize, that I was at a point where if I didn't share it with somebody, and I went to my husband first because I was laying in bed and he laid down next to me and looked at me and he's like, what's going
on?
Sandee Sgarlata (22:59)
And I finally, and this was after Thanksgiving, and I was a trooper, I hosted Thanksgiving, which is my least favorite holiday. And I did it, and he looked at me and I'm like, I'm depressed. And I'm like, I need to talk to you about this or otherwise I'm gonna go check myself in. Like I literally was at the point where, do I check myself in to a hospital? Or let's just face this. But you can't, we're only as sick as our secrets. And when you're keeping it inside your head,
Jeff Ross (22:59)
And I finally, and this was after Thanksgiving, and I was a trooper, hosted Thanksgiving, which is my least favorite holiday. And I did it, and he looked at me and I'm like, I'm depressed. And I'm like, I need to talk to you about this, or otherwise I'm gonna go check myself in. Like, I literally was at a point where, do I check myself in to a hospital, or let's just face this. But I can't, we're only as sick as our secrets, and when you're keeping it inside your head,
Sandee Sgarlata (23:27)
and you're not verbalizing
Jeff Ross (23:28)
and you're not,
verbalizing it, it just becomes this massive thing. Yeah. Yep. So as soon as I opened up, was like, Oh, now I can tell my son. Now I can tell my best friend. Now I can. My ex husband and I are very close. We're like brother and sister. Now I, told my little brother, I told my sister once I started opening up, you know, and then when I was through it, I tell this one person and what did I get? I what are you possibly depressed about? I know, right.
Sandee Sgarlata (23:29)
it, it just becomes this massive thing. So as soon as I opened up, I was like, now I can tell my son. Now I can tell my best friend. Now I can tell, my ex-husband and I are very close. We're like brother and sister. Now I told my little brother, I told my sister. Once I started opening up, you know, and then when I was through it, I tell this one person and what did I get? I got, what are you possibly depressed about? I'm like, my.
Jeff Ross (23:57)
Here's the thing that I'm picking up is you've gone through this experience now and you can help others relate. You can connect through that story. And I've gone through my own experience. Like I tried to kill myself 10 years ago. know, like I got so down and out, so depressed. See, I grew up on horse studs and you know, breaking horses and working with cattle. That's all I knew. I left school at year nine.
I straight into being a ranch hand. That was my identity. And, you know, 26, I had a horse jump on my neck and I ended up crushed. I'm lucky to be alive, lucky to be walking and talking. But the results of that, that injury was I've got three crushed discs in the back of my neck. My brachial plexus area is shot. My right arm doesn't really have much strength left. And the doctors rode me off. They basically put me on a disability pension and said, here's your pain meds.
Sandee Sgarlata (24:50)
my gosh.
Jeff Ross (24:55)
See you later, not much else we can do. And I lost my identity in that whole crisis. you know, at that age, yeah, like I was by the time like I had to go through the disability pension stuff and whatnot, I was 30 and newly married. We had our first son and I've lost our income stream. I'm thinking, you know, as and I was brought up in a family that
Sandee Sgarlata (25:01)
Of course she did, yeah. Especially at that age.
Mmm.
Jeff Ross (25:21)
You know, you can't really rely on anybody. got to do it yourself attitude. You got to work hard to get through life, you know, and you know, that real sort of blokey, you know, Aussie mentality. I'm sure it's in America too, but that real masculine, toxic masculinity environment. um, it's just as strong as here as ever. Yeah. So I've grown up in that environment and that's all I knew. You don't know what you don't know what you don't know. And, uh, so yeah, I hit a deep, deep spiral.
Sandee Sgarlata (25:31)
Mm-hmm.
it's just as strong as here as ever. Yeah.
Jeff Ross (25:50)
and got to the point where I just thought the world would be better off without me. And I convinced myself that that's my truth, that would be the reality of it. And I'm so grateful to, call it God, at this time I was an atheist, but I've got a really good relationship with Jesus now. And at that time, God stopped me in my tracks, my two year old son, as I was about to go.
I had the bottle of jemisin's, I the bottle of pills, I was just about to really just go do it. I convinced myself, talked myself in the mirror. I was about to do it. And my two year old son walked in, he never woke up. he came in that night at two o'clock in the morning. He Dada, with your big beautiful brown eyes, he looked up and said, Dada, what are you doing? And that just stopped me in my tracks. He was an angel at that moment. Sorry, get up, I shall tell you this story. Yeah, that was an angel.
Sandee Sgarlata (26:39)
He was an angel at that moment.
Yeah, that was an angel.
Thank God. Thank God for that,
Jeff Ross (26:46)
Thank God, thank God for that. Yeah. And that
was that milestone transitional moment for me to realize and wake up and I had to take some ownership and I realized that, you know, because the person that I was was not a very nice person. I was hurting and I was angry and I was lashing out. And, you know, I connect to your story because you said that key word lonely.
I didn't feel like anybody saw me. didn't feel like anybody heard me. My beautiful wife was trying to do what she could to help me that, but I pushed her away because I was hurting so much at that stage. And I'm so grateful that she stood by me in that season. And we've got a beautiful marriage now. But I we went through the furnace and we've come out the fire and we've both done some really deep work over the last 12 years. And it's...
Sandee Sgarlata (27:40)
That's awesome. Yeah.
Jeff Ross (27:43)
We're all somebody's guide, right? And things don't happen to us, they happen for us. And those stories, and that's why I share my story in that space. There's obviously a lot more to that. But to share that story with you and to be able to connect with your story is how we connect, relate and resonate with each other. And we can have that heart to heart connection with people. And we can support each other through life.
and that journey, that crazy wild ride. And here's the thing that coming back to that key word lonely, there are so many people in this world who feel like that, who don't feel seen, who don't feel heard, who don't feel known, who feel unloved. And I feel as thought leaders and people empowering, that is our responsibility, right? Is to help people feel seen, heard, known and loved.
so they don't feel lonely. And we do this thing called life together in connected, healthy, safe spaces in community. And so much so like, you know, this whole personal development journey, the spiritual development, Sarah and I started a church last year. It's a little online church. It's called Today's Discipleship Community. And our heart is to help people to love themselves so they feel known.
Sandee Sgarlata (28:57)
okay.
Jeff Ross (29:09)
They feel heard, they feel seen, and that they aren't to love God and to love their brothers and sisters, to love their community. And that's essentially like, that's the mission that we're on with that. And I'm just doing that same expression just in the online marketing space. And I think that's the, you know, when you can get clarity around your calling, your purpose, your mission, then you never really work a day in your life, do you? And, and.
Sandee Sgarlata (29:09)
Yeah.
Jeff Ross (29:38)
I'm sort of lost by trying to thought here, but I'm coming back to this. I don't know, can you unpack the heart of getting clarity around a purpose-driven mission and how to help others to get that same clarity? Like, I'd love to hear from you. Like, what are some of your thoughts that are coming up right now and how do we help others to articulate their purpose-driven lives, their heart-centered lives to...
to live in that mission.
Sandee Sgarlata (30:09)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So I want to touch on the loneliness part just for a second, because it ties into the bigger picture of finding your purpose. I started out earlier talking about everything is a perception. know, we all, you know, these are my reading glasses. I don't wear glasses. I actually have, I wear one contact and then these are my readers. And I can see you. I can see you. It's just a little blurry, right? So
Jeff Ross (30:36)
So I'm perceiving you as a certain way right now,
Sandee Sgarlata (30:36)
I'm perceiving you as a certain way right now.
Jeff Ross (30:39)
right? And it's a little blurry and everything. Well, as soon as I put these on, you're crystal clear, right? So my perception has changed. It's changed just like that. So when you're in the middle of loneliness, because when I was feeling that, I didn't describe it as being lonely. It was depression. But the loneliness when I heard that song, that's how I felt. That's how depression felt to me.
Sandee Sgarlata (30:39)
right? And it's a little blurry and everything. Well, as soon as I put these on, you're crystal clear, right? So my perception has changed. It's changed just like that. So when you're in the middle of loneliness, because when I was feeling that, I didn't describe it as being lonely. It was depression. But the loneliness when I heard that song, that's how I felt. That's how depression felt to me.
Depression felt lonely. I was not at a point
Jeff Ross (31:05)
Yes.
Sandee Sgarlata (31:10)
where I was ready to check out, although...
world just ended tomorrow, I would be okay with that. If I got hit by a truck and died, I would be totally okay with that, right? Like that's where I was. like, okay, you know, I was like, if this is it, then take me because I'm done. Like I'm done. But I don't, I've never reached a point where I would actually do it. You know, I never got to that point. So anyway, so here's the thing. And for anybody out there who's lonely,
Jeff Ross (31:28)
You lost your drive. Lost your drive.
Sandee Sgarlata (31:45)
Please do not take this the wrong way because what you're experiencing is real. It's real in our mind.
Jeff Ross (31:45)
Please do not take this the wrong way because what you're experiencing is real. It's real in our
minds. But that's where it stops. It's an illusion. It's an illusion. Fear is an illusion. Loneliness is an illusion. And for me, as soon as I opened up and was able to share with somebody else, then I was able to share with another person and share with another
Sandee Sgarlata (31:55)
but that's where it stops. It's an illusion. It's an illusion. Fear is an illusion. Loneliness is an illusion. And for me, as soon as I opened up and was able to share with somebody else, then I was able to share with another person and then share with another person.
Jeff Ross (32:15)
And so if you're feeling lonely, yeah, sit in it, feel it, own it, take responsibility for it. And at some point you got
Sandee Sgarlata (32:15)
And so if you're feeling lonely, yeah, sit in it, feel it, own it, take responsibility for it. And at some point you gotta...
Jeff Ross (32:24)
to break out of that comfort zone because in order to grow, you have to be comfortable being uncomfortable. And sorry, just to cut you off there. I just want to take, some responsibility for this conversation too. And if you are listening to this and you do feel these, these emotions like, yeah, like reach out, talk to someone.
Sandee Sgarlata (32:24)
break out of that comfort zone because in order to grow, you have to be comfortable being uncomfortable. And yeah, it's okay.
Please,
Jeff Ross (32:43)
professional,
Sandee Sgarlata (32:43)
yes.
Jeff Ross (32:44)
a friend, whatever you need to do. Cause I know that's what Sandy's done. And that's what I did, you know, after that whole experience for me, like the next step, the next day, I basically verbally vomited all over my business coach at the time. And she said, right, well, you got to meet my friend, Tim. And my friend Tim took me under his wing and started to mentor me and, and helped me to go through that process. And then I was able to share it with Sarah. then, you know, so that, that process of sharing helped me to, to
Sandee Sgarlata (32:50)
That's right.
huh.
Jeff Ross (33:12)
to put it by, not put it behind me, like it's still part of me, but to deal with it and be empowered by it, not destroyed by it. Does that make sense? Absolutely. And there's so many resources right now. there's online in the United States, there's plenty of online psychotherapy centers that accept your insurance. There's groups, there's free toll, toll free numbers you can call. There's so many resources.
Sandee Sgarlata (33:22)
Absolutely. And there's so many resources right now. there's online in the United States, there's plenty of online psychotherapy centers that accept your insurance. There's groups, there's free toll, toll free numbers you can call. There's so many resources. And so
Jeff Ross (33:41)
And so nowadays...
Sandee Sgarlata (33:41)
nowadays,
And I'm a peak performance expert. I gotta say it, if you're not reaching out, you gotta take responsibility for your own. In today's world of information, unless you don't own a phone and you have no internet access, there's no excuse. And I don't mean to be hard on anybody, but at some point you gotta take responsibility and you have to take action because everything in life is just discipline and consistency.
Jeff Ross (33:45)
And you know, I'm a performance expert. I gotta say it. If you're not reaching out, you know, you gotta take responsibility for your own. know, there's in today's world of information, unless you don't own a phone and you have no internet access, there's no excuse. Exactly. Okay. And I don't mean to be hard on anybody, but it's, some point you gotta take responsibility and you have to take action because everything in life is just discipline and consistency.
Yep.
It's what I call above the line culture. We can live a life above the line, which is taking ownership, accountability, responsibility for our actions, or below the line is blame, excuse, and denial. Exactly. And if you're in that place, it's OK, because I think we've all been there. I know I have many times. But at some point, got to, and you can't hang out there for too long. No. You're not getting this day back. Yeah.
Sandee Sgarlata (34:17)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly. So, and if you're in that place, it's okay, because I think we've all been there. I know I have many times, but at some point you got to, you have, and you can't hang out there for too long. Right? Right? You're not getting this day back.
So it's about, yeah.
Jeff Ross (34:39)
We, we, we, you know, you can fall
off the horse, but don't stay in the dirt. You gotta, you gotta pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back onto the, yeah. Absolutely. And so, so when it comes to having a purpose driven life, it's finding, know, what is it that you're, you're passionate about? you know, there's so many different exercises. First, first of all, I think it's really important to do a values exercise and figure out what is it, what's important to me.
Sandee Sgarlata (34:42)
That's right.
Absolutely. And so when it comes to having a purpose-driven life, it's finding, you know, what is it that you're passionate about? And, you know, there's so many different exercises. First of all, I think it's really important to do a values exercise and figure out what's important to me.
What are my values? And then be like, okay, these are your values. Now what's my mission? What do I want to do?
Jeff Ross (35:08)
What are my values? And then be like, okay, these are your values. Now what's my mission? What do I want to
do? And then when you come up with your mission, and I don't own this, a friend of mine created this, this is one of her tools that she uses and she is a licensed therapist. Her name is Kelly Bazzani. So you figure out your values first and then when it comes to your mission, well what is your mission? And then you need to go like seven layers deep. Well why?
Sandee Sgarlata (35:15)
And then when you come up with your mission, and I don't own this, a friend of mine created this, you know, this is one of her tools that she uses and she is a licensed therapist. Her name is Kelly Bazzani. And so you figure out your values first and then when it comes to your mission, well, what is your mission? And then you need to go like seven layers deep. Well, why?
Oh, well, because I want to help people. Well, why do you want to help people? Well, because blah, blah, blah. Well, why do you want to do that?
Jeff Ross (35:39)
Oh, well because I want to help people. Well, why do you want to help people? Well, because blah blah blah. Well, why do you want to
do that? Because of this. Well, why do you want to do that? And when you get like seven layers deep, you will come up with, because you keep digging away and you dig and you have to make sure what are those, you know, Google value words and write down, start like figuring out which ones are yours and then make your top five. Because I look at the values, the values with all the words and I'm like,
Sandee Sgarlata (35:44)
because of this. Well, why do you want to do that? And when you get like seven layers deep, you will come up with, because you keep digging away and you dig and you want to make sure what are those, you know, Google value words and write down, start like figuring out which ones are yours and then make your top five. Right. Because I look at a values, a values with all the words and I'm like, my
gosh, I can relate to so many. But when it comes down, you know, for me, it's
Jeff Ross (36:08)
I can relate to so many but when it comes down, you know for me
it's authenticity, and it's family. know and gratitude. That's my values. And then from there, then you can know.
Sandee Sgarlata (36:12)
It's authenticity, it's spirituality, and it's know, God, family. Yeah, God, family, and authenticity, and gratitude. You know, mean, that's my values. then from there, then you can, you know,
you have that drive.
Jeff Ross (36:32)
And on the values conversation,
there normally is a personal story or connection why that's such a big value for you, right? Like transparency is such a huge value for me because I used to live my life in so many secrets. And you said it before, only secret is your secrets, right? And that's so true. So I live my life out in the light, almost to a fault. You know, I've got strong boundaries around it, of course. But what you see with Jeff Ross is what you get. it's the same, same trend.
Sandee Sgarlata (36:40)
Yep. Yep.
Yeah.
Same with A, like,
yeah.
Jeff Ross (36:58)
Transparency
is a huge value for me. So when I come across a disconnect to that, that someone's out of integrity in that space, it's such a values rub now these days because of that. Integrity is another huge value of mine is integrity. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. So getting to your values, but then coming back down to your why and going seven levels deep. like our assignments and XS, you know, start with your why, but that's really just starting the surface, right?
Sandee Sgarlata (37:07)
Yep. Yep. Yeah, because integrity is another huge value of mine is integrity. Yeah. Yeah.
Jeff Ross (37:28)
And I find, you know, as a coach in this space, teaching people to figure out their why, your why has got to be something that's bigger than you. It's not just about showing up and, know, okay, I'm going to do this thing and it's going to help me to benefit my life and I'm going to get money, right? That's, that's a, that is a why, but it's not the why. What is the why that's bigger than you? What is the why that's going to help serve the greater good and help, you know,
Sandee Sgarlata (37:37)
That's right.
Jeff Ross (37:54)
probably even leave a legacy behind. Like when you're no longer here on planet earth and you your tombstone's there, what's that why? You know, that, yeah, what does people remember you by and that why, that deeper level why? And so I love that you've expressed there the seven, yeah, why, why that, why this and keep going, going, going until you can't go any further. Cause that is the why that that'll drive you. You know, so for my why it's like,
Sandee Sgarlata (37:58)
Right.
Yeah.
Jeff Ross (38:22)
I'm all about helping people to live their heart-centered purpose-driven lives. That's my personal why. And then I've got my why wrapped around that for the LaptopLive.Dad's community. But we've also got a why with that with our online church that is closely tied to that. And so our businesses, our brands are just vehicles. They're just the way that we express and we serve and we show up.
and how we drive the vehicles to help us to achieve our why. So I love that you unpacked that. Thank you for bringing that up. So.
Sandee Sgarlata (38:54)
Right? Yeah.
Well, and then here's the thing, if I can just add one more, is that you also need to know how you function. And for me, knowing that I'm such a high performer, you know, have nine interviews scheduled for this week in a three day time span, nine interviews. And I'm like, why
are you doing this? Like this is too, and so.
Jeff Ross (39:16)
why are you doing this? Most people look at that as a
burnout recipe. Exactly. so I'll have a week like this and then I know next week is...
Sandee Sgarlata (39:21)
Exactly. And so I'll have a week like this, and then I know next week is, but a couple
of them have already canceled or rescheduled. so it all kind of works itself out. But I have to know myself and like, okay, because I know on Friday, I'm not going to be working. And so that's okay. So it's okay to work three days really hard, and then I'm going to take probably Friday, Saturday, Sunday off. And that's okay. Yeah. So for me, I kind of work well in that type of, like a sprint, like you just said.
Jeff Ross (39:29)
it all kind of works itself out. But I have to know myself, like, okay, because I know on Friday I'm not gonna be working. So that's okay. So it's okay to work three days really hard, and then I'm gonna take probably Friday, Saturday, Sunday off. And okay. Yeah, go for sprints. Yeah, so for me, I kind of work well in that type of, like a sprint, like you
just said. Yeah. Yeah. So you have to, because if you wanna keep...
Sandee Sgarlata (39:51)
Yeah. So you have to, because if you
want to keep that drive, you have to keep that, I like to say harmony. I don't really like the word balance. For me, it's harmony.
Jeff Ross (39:57)
You want to keep that drive you have to keep that I like to say harmony. I don't really like the word balance for me. It's harmony
Yeah, the work-life balance seems to be a bit of a myth So I like how you pull that up because we all operate differently, right? And yeah, and here's the thing that's coming around full circle to this whole conversation is You got to be intimate with yourself to be able to serve others You got to know the way you're wired your weaknesses your strengths everything in between
Sandee Sgarlata (40:07)
It is.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Jeff Ross (40:25)
to really find that purpose. Yeah. And so it starts with doing some internal work. I love it. just you're right. interviewed, but you just mentioned the word intimacy and I just interviewed someone I'll introduce you to if you want, but please do. Um, she, hers is, um, into me, I see. for her, love that. That's very uncanny. Um, into me, I see. it was like, ah, that's beautiful.
Sandee Sgarlata (40:32)
I interviewed, just, I'm sorry, Jeff. I interviewed, but you just mentioned the word intimacy and I just interviewed someone I'll introduce you to if you want, hers is Into Me I See. So for her, it's about being into me with yourself, Into Me I See. And it was like, that's beautiful.
Jeff Ross (40:53)
Yeah,
Sandee Sgarlata (40:53)
Yeah.
Jeff Ross (40:54)
I love that. So that's so uncanny. We were at church last Sunday and beautiful Anne was up there. She's a 83 and she's a life coach counselor and helped a lot of people through, you know, going through their processing stuff in life. And, and she said same thing. We're talking about listening with care and helping you know, to really help people feel seen, and valued. And she's basically, see she broke down the word, it's busy as well. And exactly the same way into me see.
Sandee Sgarlata (41:13)
Yeah.
Jeff Ross (41:22)
I love that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, shifting gears, we are talking about social selling and AI. And I think this is a very valuable conversation for our listeners to be going to do that deep internal work. Because once you figure out a lot of this mind, heart, set stuff, as you mentioned before, Sandy, lot of the tactics, the strategies, these tips, the tools, that all just starts to help you to propel things faster. So
Sandee Sgarlata (41:24)
Yeah. Yeah.
Jeff Ross (41:49)
With so many AI tools for content creation, automation and engagement even these days, I'm not a fan of the engagement tools. I think that's just adding engagement spam out there. A lot of people are worried about losing their voice, losing their authenticity online. So how can entrepreneurs use AI to enhance their personal brand, their influence without losing their unique touch and personal connection to their audience?
Sandee Sgarlata (42:19)
That's an excellent question. I think that it's one that every single person who is trying to have an online presence needs to be conscious of. again, AI is my assistant. It doesn't do it for me. So, okay. I want to write this post because for me, I'm such a perfectionist that it could take me two hours to figure out the perfect in air quotes, the perfect way to say it.
Jeff Ross (42:20)
That's an excellent question. think that it's one that every single person who is trying to have an online presence needs to be conscious of. again, AI is my assistant. It doesn't do it for me. So, okay, I want to write this post because for me, I'm such a perfectionist that it could take me two hours to figure out the perfect in air quotes, the perfect way to say
it. When you're when you're
Sandee Sgarlata (42:48)
When you're
priming in chat DPT, which is the only one that I use, when you're priming it, what that's doing is it's getting to know me. And it knows my website. I upload documents, I upload pictures, I upload, it knows me very, very well. Exactly. And so you need that foundation there. And then it's like my assistant, hey, can you just draft this email?
Jeff Ross (42:50)
priming in chat DPT, which is the only one that I use when you're priming it, what that's doing is it's getting to know me and it knows my website. It has, I upload documents, I upload pictures, I upload, it knows me. You got a foundation. Exactly. And so you need that foundation there. And then it's like my assistant, Hey, you know, can you just draft this email?
Sandee Sgarlata (43:16)
because I'm looking for corporate sponsors for my shows. This is what I want to say a little lot. And then they give me the email. That would have taken me four hours to write. I don't have four hours. Okay. So yeah, it's efficiency. And now I can take it. I'm like, this is perfect, but I don't like the way that... Now I add my own voice to that, but it's very important. Because I can't tell you how many people that consider themselves influencers
Jeff Ross (43:17)
because I'm looking for corporate sponsors for my shows. This is what I want to say a little bit. And then they give me the email. That would have taken me four hours to write. I don't have four hours. OK? So yeah, it's efficiency. Yeah. And now I can take it. I'm like, oh, this is perfect. But I don't like the way that. Now I add my own voice to that. But it's very important. Because I can't tell you how many people that consider themselves influencers.
Sandee Sgarlata (43:46)
and I've seen their posts and I am, I have a superpower with editing and I can find them. It's a, I can find an error like that. And I'm like, they left the sentence in from chat GPT that says, this is a great post to use. And they just copied the whole thing and didn't even look at it. Copy and paste. No, do not be copying and pasting. I copy and paste into a word document. That's how I do it. I copy and paste into a.
Jeff Ross (43:46)
and I've seen their posts and I have a superpower with editing. Spidey senses. I can find an error like that and I'm like, oh, they left the sentence in from ChatGPG that says, this is a great post to me and they just copied the whole thing and didn't even look at it. Red flag. Copy and paste. Yep. No, do not be copying and pasting. Yeah. Do not copy and paste into a Word document. That's how I do it. That's a very handy tip
because
I know I was guilty of that when I first started too.
Sandee Sgarlata (44:16)
Yeah.
Yeah, copy and paste into a Word document. And now I have a Word document. Now I can do that because a lot of times I do it for my phone. Some I do for my computer. I can easily email it to myself and then copy and paste it. But you want to make sure you're copying and pasting it into a Word document and you want it to look, how do I want this to look? And now you make it perfect in Word, then you post it. And I think that people, know, it's fine. It's great to use,
you know, AI to help you be efficient.
Jeff Ross (44:46)
AI to help you be efficient,
Sandee Sgarlata (44:48)
but it can't do your job for you because this is your voice and it's your brand. And if you want to be on point with your brand, because that's you, that's your identity, you got to take ownership of it.
Jeff Ross (44:48)
but it can't do your job for you. Because this is your voice and it's your brand. And if you want to be on point with your brand, because that's you, that's your identity, you got to take ownership of it. Yeah, 100%. And I like to look at it, okay, so how can it, it's not replace me, but how can it help to, help me to be, like what you're saying, a little bit faster and a more efficient. And those bottlenecks, like,
Sandee Sgarlata (45:06)
Mm-mm.
Jeff Ross (45:14)
Once again, coming back to this conversation, we're talking about being intimate in our strengths and weaknesses and understanding ourselves. And like I've been an internet marketer since 2010. And, you know, I've done the Russell Brunson courses, I've done, you know, Darren Hardy and, and I was a certified partner of Ryan Dice for digitalmarketer.com. So I've done all of those invested quite heavily into myself. And when I first come onto AI,
I thought, right, I know what I'm doing. I'm king shit. My ego is big. I know what I'm doing here and I can go and operate it. And I was sorely disappointed. And I was, my arrogance and my ego at that time, it set me up to like have a bad experience because I got into AI and I thought, right, I'm just, I'm just going to type a post together and we'll do it together. And the experience I got was it was robotic. It was bland. It was dry. It's just so much so I actually reacted.
I got onto YouTube and I said, stay away from chat. GPT. It's going to destroy your brand. It's not going to serve you. Yada, yada, yada. And then I saw people like Jeff J Hunter and Jonathan master. They were using it as like, hang on. What am I missing? They, you know, they're using it in a really skilled way that helped them amplify their voice. What am I missing? And I had to realize it was the foundation. was the, it's the way you're prompting it. Yeah. Props are so critical. Yes. I priming it.
Sandee Sgarlata (46:28)
Yeah.
And it's the way you're prompting it. There's chat GPT prompts are so critical. I said priming it, but
it's really what you're prompting it to do. Here's an example. the coach that I'm working with is she's been really great at helping me because she's a branding expert herself. And so for example, I'm doing a new, you know, have a television show coming out called Peak Performance Playbook. also will be released as a second podcast.
Jeff Ross (46:40)
but it's really what you're prompting it to do. Here's an example. I might, the coach that I'm working with is she's been really great at helping me because she's a branding expert. And so for example, I'm doing a new, you know, I have a television show coming out called a peak performance playbook. It's also will be released as a second podcast
and it's going to be released on a 360 television. Yeah, cool. Was that with Julie, Julie Ann.
Sandee Sgarlata (47:02)
and it's going to be released on E360 television and Amazon Fire.
Yeah, with Julianne. Yeah, with Julianne. But it's also 2B. They just picked up 2B. So it's got some really great platforms. so I need a graphic. And I've had such a challenging time working with graphic artists because I know what I want, but I can't explain it to them. And so she was like, attach the picture. I was like, I want this picture.
Jeff Ross (47:09)
Yeah, Julianne, yeah, Julianne. But it's also 2B, they just picked up 2B and you know, so it's got some really great platforms. And so I was, I need a graphic. And I've had such a challenging time working with graphic artists because I know what I want, but I can't explain it to them. And so she was like, attach the pictures, like I want this picture,
Sandee Sgarlata (47:31)
I want it to reflect all types of sports, know, blah, blah, blah.
Jeff Ross (47:32)
I want it to reflect all types of sports, know, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Sandee Sgarlata (47:36)
And I, and she helped me do the prompt and it came back and it said, here's what you tell the graphic designer. Cause I was like, I don't know what to tell the graphic designer. I copied it, went back onto Fiverr with the person I've been using. He came back, bam, beautiful. And now we're fine tuning it. I'm like, so maybe he, probably has a chat. He probably has a program himself for graphic artists. I don't care.
Jeff Ross (47:36)
And she helped me do the prompt and it came back and it said, here's what you tell the graphic designer. Cause I was like, I don't know what to tell the graphic designer. I copied it, went back onto Fiverr with the person I'd been using. He came back. Bam. Beautiful. Beautiful. Love it. He probably has a chat. He probably has a program himself for graphic artists. I don't care.
Sandee Sgarlata (48:01)
This is, don't know how to tell you to do this and I'm not a graphic artist
Jeff Ross (48:02)
I don't know how to tell you to do this. And I'm not a graphic artist.
Sandee Sgarlata (48:05)
and it's beautiful. And now we're just tweaking, right?
Jeff Ross (48:06)
It's beautiful and now we're just tweaking.
It's high performance partnership. I love it. Beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. I have no budget. I'm not at a point where I can spend five grand on a huge, logo. I'm not there. Yeah. Yeah. No, I get it. I bootstrapped everything off the back of a disability pension. I understand that, yeah, the quirks, not the shortcuts, but the ways to bring things what you got to do, right? Bootstrap it, I call it.
Sandee Sgarlata (48:11)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I have no budget. I'm not at a point where I can spend five grand on a huge, amazing logo. I'm not there.
Well, you gotta be resourceful. Yeah.
Jeff Ross (48:36)
Cool. All right. Well, I'm sure I could talk underwater with a mouthful of marbles with you. And I absolutely love this conversation. We'll have to get you back for another episode. But let's wrap up. So if someone's listening today, they feel stuck, they feel overwhelmed, they feel unsure of their next steps in business or life. What are the three things they can do right now to shift their mindset and start creating real momentum and get traction? Great question.
Sandee Sgarlata (49:03)
Great question. So
number one, there has to be some self-awareness. I actually have, I call it getting into your zone of genius. And my formula for the zone of genius is three things. You have one, you have self-awareness plus self-love plus spirituality equals your zone of genius. And that's where you're your highest frequency. So it's becoming self-aware, focusing on self-love, and you have to have something.
Jeff Ross (49:06)
Number one, there has to be some self awareness. have, actually have, call it, you're getting into your zone of genius. And my formula for zone of genius is three things. You have one, you have self awareness plus self love plus spirituality equals your zone of genius. And that's where you're your highest frequency. So it's becoming self aware, focusing on self love. And you have to have something
Sandee Sgarlata (49:31)
other than yourself that you believe in. Call it your chair, God,
Jeff Ross (49:32)
other than yourself that you believe in. Call it your chair.
God, Buddha, Allah, Jesus, the universe, you're a star. You're you're you're a It's just something that you're, right? Something that you're aspiring to would say it's something that you need to
Sandee Sgarlata (49:35)
Buddha, Allah, Jesus, the universe, your lucky star, your car, your cat, your dog. It's just something that you're, right? Something that you're aspiring to trust and turn it over.
Jeff Ross (49:49)
be grateful for and that faith can play. That you can surrender, right? One of my other coaches and mentors, Craig Siegel, he always says, know, marry the process, divorce the outcome. And to me, that's what surrendering is.
Sandee Sgarlata (49:51)
Yeah, that you can surrender, right? One of my other coaches and mentors, Craig Siegel, he always says, know, marry the process, divorce the outcome. And to me, that's what surrendering is.
That's what surrender. So it's all about surrendering, marry the process, divorce the outcome and surrender. But you've got to have the self-awareness, the self-love and the spirituality in order to get to that place. And you can't shortcut here. Trust me.
Jeff Ross (50:03)
Yeah
Sandee Sgarlata (50:21)
I'm the type of person for 35 years, I've been going over, under, around. You can't, you gotta go through it folks, it's the only way. Because I will be the first one to try a shortcut. I
am Misoficiency and if I can find a shortcut, I'm gonna find a shortcut. But when we're talking consciousness, there's no shortcuts. There's no shortcuts. You gotta do the work.
Jeff Ross (50:32)
I am this efficiency and if I can find a shortcut, I'm going to find a shortcut. Yeah, I'm guilty of that. When we're talking consciousness, there's no shortcuts. There's no shortcuts. just, I'm just reflecting.
I'm just reflecting on the last 10 years and you're so right. It's so right. It's a, you know, I'm guilty of trying to look for the shortcuts and the silver bullets and I'll freely admit that. But every time I've got to do that, I fall flat in my face and I come back to it's like, hang on. I've got to do the work. I've to go deep. I've to get deep. Got to do the internal stuff and say,
Sandee Sgarlata (51:01)
Exactly.
Jeff Ross (51:02)
Exactly.
Yeah, I get it. Thank you for sharing that. That's it. There's some really awesome stuff there. So, all right. So self-awareness, was spirituality. What was the third one? Sorry, I missed one. Self-love. Self-love. Yeah, I love that. Self-awareness, which will lead to self-love. And you can look at yourself in your mirror, warts and all, and be comfortable with your identity of who, you know, the higher power has created you to be.
Sandee Sgarlata (51:13)
Self-love.
Jeff Ross (51:29)
I love that and that was definitely where my firm foundation started to build off. I learned to love myself and I became aware of how I was wired. Yeah, I love that. Well, Sandy, this has been absolute gold. Thank you very much for this. Thank you. Really appreciate you. But before we wrap up, where can our people connect with you? How can they learn more about your work? How can they get access to your amazing gift that you bring to the world? thank you. You can go to sandyscarlotta.com.
Sandee Sgarlata (51:29)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
so great. Thank you.
Oh, thank you. You can go to sandyscarlotta.com and
on there I have a little ebook that you can get a free copy of that ebook, Peak Performance Secrets. I believe also on there, my book, Happiness Solved, Climbing 100 Steps, which was released in February of 21. I believe you can get a free copy there, but you can always email me at sandyscarlotta.com, Instagram and Facebook. am at coach sandyscarlotta.
Jeff Ross (51:58)
And on there, I have a little ebook that you can get a free copy of that ebook, Peak Performance Secrets. I believe also on there, my book, Happiness Solved, Climbing 100 Steps, which was released in February 21. I believe you can get a free copy there. But you can always email me at sandysferlata.com, Instagram, and Facebook. am at coach sandysferlata.
Thank you. Really appreciate you. And all right, legends, well, that's been an amazing episode.
Sandee Sgarlata (52:25)
Thank you.
Jeff Ross (52:28)
If you've gotten value from this, hey, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with someone who needs to hear it. And just come back full circle. If you are that lonely person who's going through some depression, reach out, speak to someone. Please don't bottle it up and keep it to yourself because that internal voice, it'll keep telling you lies. reach Reach out to me. Yeah, reach out. happy to help. Me too. Absolutely.
Sandee Sgarlata (52:29)
Thank you.
Reach out to me. I'm happy to help. Absolutely. Yeah.
Jeff Ross (52:54)
For those of you who want to subscribe so you never miss another episode, we can find us on YouTube. It's the Laptop Lifestyle Dad Show. We're on Spotify. We're on Apple Podcast. We're hosted on the LA Tribune Podcast Network too. And you'll see more amazing episodes. Sandy's actually on there as well. So you'll be able to go grab her podcasts and listen to hers and share hers around the world. So if you love what we're doing here and you're on Apple and you're listening to the replay, hey, drop us a comment.
if you're tuning in, tag a mate who needs to hear this. And Sandy, before I go, I've got to hit you with a classic dad joke. It's part of the brand. It's Laptop Lifestyle Dad Show after all. So here you go. All right, this is my favorite. I married my beautiful wife for her looks. Just not the ones that she gives me these days.
Sandee Sgarlata (53:31)
please.
Okay.
Ha
Jeff Ross (53:46)
That's awesome. Every time I share that joke with Sarah.
Sandee Sgarlata (53:46)
That's awesome. Cause she's like, hmm.
Jeff Ross (53:54)
Love it. I love it. I love it. That's beautiful. Love it. it. Love it. Well, thank you. Appreciate you. And for our listeners, stay caffeinated, stay legendary, and we'll see you on the next episode.
Sandee Sgarlata (53:56)
I love it, I love it, that's beautiful. Love it, love it, love it.